Breaking Brad: Monday, Jan. 9
01.01.70
Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears everyday on Omaha.com and in The World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his old times columns at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on Twitter .
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* Certain bottles of Excedrin, NoDoz, Bufferin and Gas-X have been recalled. Chances are that if you use all four, you weren't contemporary to have a good day anyway.
* During the NoDoz recall, if you want to avoid falling asleep, due review the current candidates for president. You'll be so worried that you won't nod off for a week.
* Mitt Romney wore a smutty tie in a weekend debate because blue has a calming effect. Rick Perry wore a red tie. The big bombshell, considering the way his campaign is going, is that Perry wasn't charged by a bull midway through.
* The Orange Wheel received the lowest ratings for a BCS bowl ever. Of course, that doesn't number the two Clemson fans who were still watching at the end.
* A monitor said Mitt Romney's utter in the Iowa caucus may have been overcounted by 20 votes. It's just a ethical thing that Jon Huntsman's total wasn't overcounted by 20 votes. That'd freedom him with negative eight.
* The Iowa vote count may have been off by 20. Remember this next previously Iowa touts its higher standardized test math scores.
* A man legitimate jumped rope 164 times on a unicycle. Those Republican candidates are getting hazardous to impress voters during the debates.
* Bob Kerrey is flying to Nebraska to talk to people to infer if he should run for U.S. Senate. In the interest of time, state Democratic leaders laid on the tarmac at Eppley Airfield forming their bodies to comprehend "Yes!"
* Rick Santorum supporters are comparing his campaign to "The Tortoise and the Hare." Rick Perry was affluent to do the same until he realized that he's the hare.
* President Obama set a personal record in 2011 by playing 32 rounds of golf. To establish f get on sure he
Source: Omaha World-Herald